The 2006 World Cup in Germany
A booksmusicfilmstv.com surreal take on the footie fest in Germany
Reports on all England's games: England 1 Paraguay 0 England 2 Trinidad & Tobago 0 England 2 Sweden 2 Ecuador 0 England 1 England 0 Portugal 0 Portugal win 3-1 on pens.
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You couldn't make it up. England lose on penalties again, star player Wayne Rooney is sent off, inspirational captain David Beckham goes off injured and in tears, defensive rock John Terry gets a harsh yellow card and would have missed the semi final - if England had got there. But this is England. It's familiar territory.

It was a dreadful day for English sport, with news of the death of probably English cricket's greatest ever fast bowler - Fred Trueman, and the current England cricket team completing probably their worst one day series at home, losing 5-0 to unfancied Sri Lanka.

Back to the football, and once again England played better with their backs to the wall. When down to 10 men, they were probably more threatening than a Portugal side, which plays pretty football, but never looks as if it is going to score many goals. Under a closed roof, conditions were a bit cooler for an England side which has obviously toiled in the heat. Wayne Rooney started brightly for England, but Tiago could have put the Portuguese ahead, when a Luis Figo free kick saw the ball bounce off his knee, when he was well placed in the English penalty area. Figo then curled a shot just wide of Paul Robinson's goal, while Frank Lampard rifled in a fine long range drive near half time, which Ricardo saved well. It was a strangely uneventful first 45 minutes.

The second half was a different story. David Beckham limped off after 51 minutes with ankle and knee problems, to be replaced by Tottenham Hotspur youngster Aaron Lennon. Beckham was to be seen in tears, presumably fearing his World Cup was over. England, however, had a good few minutes after Beckham's departure. A Steven Gerrard corner reached Lampard, who shot over when in a good position. Maniche was then guilty of some dreadful playacting for Portugal, when making out that Owen Hargreaves had hit him in the face. Lennon made a good impression on the game early on, and went on a brilliant run, giving Rooney a chance to score, but he miskicked, and then the ball fell kindly to Joe Cole who blazed over, when he should have done better. Wayne Rooney was then sensationally sent off on 61 minutes by Argentinian referee Horacio Elizondo. After a tussle for the ball, Rooney stamped on Ricardo Carvalho's crutch, maybe accidentally. Rooney then pushed Cristiano Ronaldo, after the Portuguese winger had complained to the referee about Rooney's challenge. It was the stamping offence which got the England forward a straight red card. Ronaldo was seen winking on camera after seeing his Manchester United team-mate depart, which will probably hasten his own departure from the club. Though maybe he was just winking because he thought Portugal should now win the game...Earlier, Rooney and Ronaldo were seen cheerfully chatting in the tunnel, but out on the pitch, before the start, Ronaldo was seen to be almost butting Rooney, and whispering something in his ear - which didn't seem like sweet nothings.

A Figo curler then brought out a good save from Robinson, as you expected Portugal to seize the initiative, but England were showing plenty of bulldog spirit, and Ricardo palmed a firm Lampard free kick into the path of Lennon, but the substitute couldn't get enough power in his shot and Ricardo was able to make an easy second save. Good work by Owen Hargreaves on the left, who had a magnificent game and finally shut up the spiteful BBC pundits, set up a shot for Terry, which was deflected over.

In extra time, Robinson saved well from sub Sabrosa Simao, and Ronaldo shot just over for Portugal. Another Portuguese sub, Helder Postiga, headed in, but he was ruled to be offside. Good judgment by Robinson let a Miguel cross just sail past, and the Spurs 'keeper then comfortably saved a long range strike from Petit. Another Miguel cross flashed across the English goal without getting a decisive touch, before Maniche blasted over a late chance to win the game for Portugal.

Portugal went first in the penalty shootout, and Sabrosa Simao rifled his kick to the right of Robinson. Frank Lampard, who had had his best game of the tournament, saw his kick saved by Ricardo to his left. It summed up the Chelsea man's ill fortune in front of goal at these World Cup finals. Another sub, Hugo Viana, hit the post with Portugal's second kick, with Robinson going the wrong way, and when Hargreaves scored with a powerful penalty, despite Ricardo getting a hand to the ball to his right, England's hopes were revived. It looked as if the pendulum was swinging England's way, when Petit's penalty drifted wide to Robinson's right. But Gerrard saw his kick brilliantly saved by Ricardo to his left, and things were to swing back in Portugal's favour yet further, after Postiga calmly stroked home his penalty to Robinson's right. The pressure was back on England again. Late England sub Jamie Carragher thought he had scored with his penalty, but had to retake it as Ricardo wasn't ready. Almost inevitably the 'keeper dived to his right to push the retaken kick onto the crossbar. Ronaldo thumped in Portugal's fifth penalty to Robinson's left, and England were out, and Sven-G�an Eriksson's unlucky reign as England manager was over. Portugal reach only their second World Cup finals semi final, and their first since 1966. Luiz Felipe Scolari's record World Cup finals winning sequence has now been extended to 12 matches - with Brazil and Portugal. He's now managed the side which has knocked England out of three successive competitions.

England were so disappointing in this tournament, but with injury worries over Rooney and Michael Owen, there were fears England would be lacking in firepower. Owen went home early injured, and Rooney was never going to be at his best until the latter stages. The English defence were excellent in this tournament, apart from the Sweden game. As well as lacking in goals there was a lack of creativity in England's midfield, and, apart from when Lennon came on, a lack of pace. At least the fans did England proud - by and large.

- Paul Rance/booksmusicfilmstv.com.